I have finally finished my Christmas cards. I really shouldn't leave them to the last minute!
And here is a joke I got this week... it made me chuckle..
Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:-
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, doeshe become disoriented?2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Hollandcalled Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11... Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it followthat electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?
15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoonsand forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What arewe supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures onthe postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver themail?
17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
19. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those littlebottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
22. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?
23. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 daysa year, why are there locks on the door?